General Stationery Etiquette
From addressing invitations with ease to choosing the right color of ink for your birth announcements, these basic stationery guidelines will help you to join the ranks of the truly stationery savvy.
There are 3 basic building blocks that form the base of all etiquette.
1) Common sense
2) Courtesy
3) Usage
The foundation is common sense. On an invitation for example there is essential information that needs to be conveyed if you want your guests to show up at your event. Your guests need to know who is inviting them to what function. They also need to know the date, time and place. A properly worded invitation contains all of that information and presents it succinctly and coherently.
Courtesy is the spirit of etiquette. Its inherent generosity makes for better and more rewarding relationships. Courtesy imposes on us an obligation to be considerate of others. Etiquette is only proper when it facilitates and strengthens relationships.
Lastly Usage, etiquette is constantly evolving. Many of the customs that were proper 50 years ago are anachronisms now, and likewise, many of the customs we practice today will be outdated fifty years from now. An example that springs to my mind is reply cards. Not very long ago reply cards were considered improper, even offensive and insulting. A wedding invitation was always answered in one’s own handwriting on one’s own stationary. As our lives became busier, many of us no longer had the time to sit down and handwrite a reply. Since hosts and hostesses could not risk not receiving responses they began to send reply cards with the invitations, making it easier for their guests to respond.
In other words at some point the traditional way of responding to wedding invitations was not working. Common sense suggested that a solution be developed. The solution was simple: Extend to guests the courtesy of providing them with an easy to use card with a stamped, pre addressed envelope. The solution worked and through its usage reply cards have become perfectly proper.
Naming
Do not use abbreviations, with the exception of non-professional titles like Mr., Mrs., or Jr. Spell out all Professional titles, such as “Doctor” and “Professor.”
Correct: Doctor Andrew Humphries
Incorrect: Dr. Andrew Humphries
Under standard stationery convention, the husband’s title always precedes his wife’s.
Examples:
Doctor and Mrs. Andrew William Humphries
Judge and Mrs. Andrew William Humphries
Spell out all middle names completely.
Correct: Michael David Green
Incorrect: Michael D. Green
Avoid using Ms. in social stationery, since it is typically more appropriate for business. Use Miss or Mrs. instead.
Children
Children over 18 years old deserve their own invitation or announcement.
Abbreviations
In general, avoid abbreviations. Always spell out commonly abbreviated words, such as street, boulevard or avenue, months and days of the week. Also, be sure to spell out all contractions (e.g., “do not” instead of “don’t”). You definitely don’t want friends or family to think that you were in a rush, or that you sent hastily written announcements or invitations!
Gifts
Do not list stores where you are registered on your announcements or invitations. For truly stylish stationery experts, including the stores on your registry leaves a sour taste on your otherwise sweet social stationery. Instead, allow your friends to ask where you are registered on an individual basis.
As a general rule, if you do not specifically request that guests do not bring gifts it insinuates that all gifts will be welcome. It is acceptable, however, to decline gifts on an invitation or announcement using a delicate phrase printed at the bottom of your card in discreet print.
Suggestions:
No gifts please
May your good wishes be your only gift to us.
May the presence of your company be your only gift to us.
Addressing Envelopes
Ink:
Always address envelopes with black or dark blue ink.
Name:
Do not use abbreviations in your social stationery with the exception of non-professional titles such as Mr., Mrs., Jr., etc.
Professional titles such as “Doctor” should be spelled out.
Refrain from using symbols for “and.”
Address:
Write all house numbers in numeral form (1, 2, 3.). The number “one,” is the only exception-spell it out when it stands alone (e.g. One Panther Way).
Write apartment numbers, suite numbers and zip codes in numeral form.
Avoid state abbreviations.
Do not abbreviate common address words like “Street,” “Boulevard” and “Avenue.”
Return Address:
Print your return address on the closed back flap of the envelope.
Center the recipient’s address on the front of the envelope.
Use the same color of ink and font style on the envelope that you used for the invitation or announcement inside.
Exclude your name from the return address.
Stuffing:
The printed side of the announcement or invitation should be the side facing the recipient when he or she opens the stationery, so be sure to stuff your envelopes with the printed side of your invitations and announcements facing the flap of the envelope.